Jonathan Yaniv aka Jessica Simpson aka Fat Man has been filing Affidavits with his Foreclosure forms, and DFS (of all people) was able to walk into the court and ask for copies. MM appreciate the copies. It appears like Fat Jon merely wrote a template for his mom and aunt, and they just signed the damn forms. Normally MM would suggest that Fat Jon forged signatures because look at the Deaf Aunt’s signature, it’s practically Fat Jon‘s handwriting. However, MM do believe that Fat Jon got them sworn at court, for free, as you can locate Commissioners on a Look Up Site. It’s mostly just Fat Jon rehashing the same story, hitman, blah-blah, car accident, blah-blah.
The most interesting bits to MM are highlighted below.
Fat Jon’s Affidavit
Dated February 23, 2026, Fat Jon included the realtor agreement for his mother’s condo. Noted: Contract signed January 30th and is valid until May 1, 2026.
Noted: Mad Miriam got the relator fee knocked down a small amount, trying to save herself some money on the sale. It won’t be enough though.
Fat Jon included February 10th dated email to his mother from a TD Bank (not Scotiabank as Fat Jon stated in court) and at a branch located in South Surrey, their old home town area near the Jewish Community Centre. Do they have connections there?
Mad Miriam lies to the bank and says she is moving in with her son (in court she said she was going to rent some place else and chuck Deaf Aunt in a seniors home) and Mad Miriam wants a loan of $600,000 to co-sign using Fat Jon‘s condo as the asset. These people have no clue about assets and equity! The bank specialist clearly didn’t know the details of the foreclosure or the value of the Fat Jon‘s condo.
It goes to show the lies they tell strangers and how the paper trail building goes, trying to build their frauds. (MM redacted the Bank contacts, these people are innocent, and have no idea who they are dealing with, and don’t need harassment by any folks that might read this site. Although MM elected to not redact the realtor info, as it was/is public knowledge, MM suggest that readers please do not contact or harass the realty firm in anyway. These people are just doing their jobs.)
These things give up some more financial details to calculate the situation. Mad Miriam says she owes about $113,000 to her Scotiabank mortgage in her talks with TD.
If The Residence (MY condo) sells for $400,000 (assessment value – not the $450,000 she is deluded to believe she will get) MM have a lot of good numbers now to do the math.
Sale price $400,000 LESS [ REALTOR SELLER FEES: 7% on 1st 100K + 2.5% on 300K = $14,500.00 ] LESS [ CLOSING COSTS + TAXES + PAY OUT FEES = $3,000.00 (this is a guess but based on typical lawyer costs and bank fees) ] LESS [ PROPERTY TAXES / STRATA FEES / LIENS = $2,000 (again this is a guess, that on average there is some transfers of pre-paid property taxes and fees, and anything owed is paid in full from the proceeds) ] LESS [ Scotiabank Mortgage $113,000 ] = The remainder would be about $267,500 CAD dollars.
Jon owes more than that. Without any other property, to use as an asset for collateral, there is ZERO chance any bank is going to loan Fat Jon and Mad Miriam $500,000 or $600,000. Fat Jon’s condo will go up on the market in a few days, but we suspect it will be listed for even less than Mad Miriam’s condo. At this point, Fat Jon still does retain the equity of the sale of his place. Alta West just wants what they are owed, and it could easily eat up all the equity. Time will tell if Fat Jon walks away with a few grand, or if he fucks himself out of any small amount left over.
Mad Miriam Yaniv’s Affidavit
Dated January 27, 2026 Mad Miriam‘s Affidavit was clearly written by Fat Jon‘s AI bot. MM are puzzled by the constant mention of the mother having POA over Fat Jon. A Power of Attorney is typically necessary if you think someone might stroke out and be incapable of acting on their own behalf, think of Fat Jon in a diabetic coma. The document really only applies in those circumstances- or if Fat Jon becomes mentally ill and Mad Miriam wants to MAID his ass off the planet. (MAID in Canada’s government approved assisted suicide law.)
MM love point 8. “This is totally real, not devised to delay the foreclosure.”
The rest is a repeat of the usual – “Everyone hates Fat Jon for no good reason, wahhhhh!”
Deaf Aunt Ilana Altmann’s Affidavit
Dated January 27, 2026 Deaf Aunt‘s Affidavit was clearly written by Fat Jon‘s AI bot.
Apparently Deaf Aunt’s health problems stopped Fat Jon from paying his mortgage.
The rest is a repeat of the usual – “Everyone super duper hates Fat Jon for no good reason, wahhhhh!”